lets pretend that we can still pretend…

•January 1, 2009 • 1 Comment

“Eulogy” by The Hereafter.

Let’s pretend that we can still pretend
Let’s pretend that we are young again
I am only looking for a friend
Let’s pretend that we are young again

I drink for all the secrets that you seek
I drink for all the memories you keep
I drink for all the dreams you’ll never dream
I drink for all the planets in between

Believe me when I say I love you dear
Believe me when I tell you not to fear
That autumn morning everything was clear
Believe me when I tell you not to fear

A dollar for the country that I knew
A dollar for an afternoon with you
I know I’ve seen my best days, you’ve seen them too
A dollar for the country that I knew

happy new year :)

•January 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment

happy 2009! i’m back :)

the painter

•May 25, 2008 • Leave a Comment


the painter, originally uploaded by melvinheng.

I keep my paintbrush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up so the real me doesn’t show
I’m so afraid to show you me
Afraid of what you’ll do
You might laugh or say mean things
I’m afraid I might lose you

I’d like to remove my paint coats
To show you the real true me
But I want you to try and understand
I need you to accept what you see
So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,
I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts.
To let the real me show.

Now all my coats are stripped off,
I feel naked,bare, and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend as pure as gold.

I need to save my paintbrush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I wanna keep it handy
In case someone doesn’t understand
So please protect me my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paintbrush with me
Until I love me, too.

~Bettie B. Youngs

the daily grind

•May 25, 2008 • Leave a Comment


the daily grind, originally uploaded by melvinheng.

Commuter – one who spends his life
In riding to and from his wife;
A man who shaves and takes a train,
And then rides back to shave again.

~E.B. White, “The Commuter,” Poems and Sketches, 1982

do not be anxious

•May 14, 2008 • Leave a Comment

its easy to be carried away with worrying what the future holds. the uncertainty of career, finances, relationships… the roof over your head or the next meal perhaps. will you be happy? will you be contented? would it all be what you hope it would be?

the questions that keep you up at night. the thoughts of failure and of incessant futility. as i sit paralysed by my own fluid and uncertain future, i remember the poem that graced the back cover of countless school magazines..

“And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied: Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light, and safer than a known way”
~ Minnie L. Haskins.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

the burden i was never to bear

•February 26, 2008 • 2 Comments

in the las few weeks… i have found myself coming face to face with my past. many have beens, should haves and what ifs have surfaced and opened several boxes in my heart meant to have been stashed away for another time, when courage was present and resolve was clearer. i never choose to open them… i think. but i suppose circumstances have forced my hand and i once again find myself carrying a burden i don’t want to bear anymore.

the good news is that perhaps… perhaps these burdens were never for me to bear anyway… what a relief it will be… reading a chapter from ‘Travelling Light’ by max lucado , i re-examined myself and thought about the stubborness of my ways.. always wanting to fix things by myself… the burden of self reliance.. the times when all i needed to do was to be patient, but i had to take control… all i had to do was apologize, but i had to argue… to let go and let God,yet i took control and made a mess of it.

i always thought that i would be able to fix things… to make tings right… yet i realise the foolishness of my thoughts. i have to let go and let God. to humble myself and let Him be my shepard and I His sheep.

Scars and Souvenirs

•January 31, 2008 • Leave a Comment

People have scars in all sort of unexpected places, like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar but some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and though the cut’s long gone, the pain, still lingers.

Everything – Lifehouse

•December 9, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Praise You in This Storm

•October 24, 2007 • 1 Comment

take heart my dear, for what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us :)

Praise You in This Storm

Words – Mark Hall
Music – Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Absence of Fear

•October 4, 2007 • Leave a Comment

-Jewel

Inside my skin there is this space
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches

Inside my heart there’s an empty room
It’s waiting for lightning
It’s waiting for you

And I am wanting
And I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear

Muscle and sinew
Velvet and stone
This vessel is haunted
It creaks and moans

My bones call to you
In their separate skin
I make myself translucent
To let you in

For I am wanting
And I am needing of you here
Inside the absence of fear

There is this hunger
This restlessness inside of me
and it knows that you’re no stranger
you’re my gravity

My hands will adore you through all darkness aim
They will lay you out in moonlight
And reinvent your name

For I am wanting you
And I am needing you here
I need you near
Inside the absence of fear